January 15, 2019

The Business Networking Event Question You Shouldn't Ask

It happens a lot. In Lancaster, certainly. Out here in western Michigan, yes. 

I've never had it happen in NYC or San Francisco. 

You go to a networking event. You meet people. One of you breaks the ice.

"What do you do?" is the most likely opener after a greeting, because these are business events, and what we do is pretty relevant. Not "tell me about yourself," which is better because you'll get the "what do you do" response anyway, and it shows you see them as a person. 

That's not what this post is about. 

"What church do you go to?"

Palm, meet face. 

I don't talk about my religious beliefs in business situations, and if someone asks, I say that it's not something I talk about in business situations. And repeat it if I have to. It's really none of your business, unless you're applying a filter to your business relationships.

I don't mind that you have your beliefs, which may or may not match mine, but unless you're selling sound systems or marketing services to religious institutions: it's not a relevant question and it's full of downsides. 

It's simply not smart to introduce something that might lead someone to believe you approach business through a personal religious lens, unless you're trying to work with others who share that lens. If that's what informs your ethics  and values in business, that's fantastic. I'm all for it--talk about those values.

But if you want a solid start to a business relationship, beginning by making someone uncomfortable isn't your best bet. Now I say that knowing that I've made people uncomfortable in the past, usually talking about politics, another thing to avoid, especially these days. 

Will we get there in our business relationship? Maybe at some point. I enjoy developing friendships in business, and at some point the non-business discussions turn to the personal--kids, spouses or partners, interests, beliefs. 

But at the mixer? It's too soon, and we have a lot of rich business topics to talk about. That said, if someone is compelled to talk about it, then the rest of us can pledge to be accepting and courteous. 

Has this happened to you, and how have you responded? Let me know in the comments.