Skip to main content

Father's Day

It takes we a while--usually into the evening--to celebrate Father's Day. Mine passed away in 1996 of cancer, and I have never been a father, though would like to be. One defining thing of my marriage was the repeated fear around the six pregnancies, all of which ended up badly, with my then-wife's health in jeopardy (quite seriously twice).

My dad showed up at most of my soccer games in Middle School and likely half in High School, part of which time I was in Delaware. He backed my band, bailed me out of many situations, flew me home from London when my first engagement was clearly over, broke and homeless and hadn't eaten in weeks, and then flew me home again when England refused me entry (long story).

He backed my first tech company and sat on its tiny board. He showed up at my gigs, hawked my CD to his patients, employees, and fellow docs. I still run into people today who have that CD simply because he talked them into buying it. What a card.

There were over 500 people at his funeral. It was a long line of people, and it took a few hours for them to pass through and express their feelings. My friend Mike broke down in tears, because Dad was one of the few people who had encouraged him and pushed him when he saw him (though Mike would have succeeded on his own steam, clearly).

Apparently I look like him, and sometimes people come up to me to say that, and to say what a great guy he was. He really was. Yes, we fought. Yes, he yelled; back then OB docs spent up to 72 hours on shift, and upon coming home to poorly behaved teenagers didn't automatically revert to happy awake dad.

So yeah, I miss him.

I don't know what it is that drives me or any other man to want to be a father; perhaps it's  as simple as the natural need to propagate the species, though I suspect it's something more, and maybe something self-interested.

Maybe it's because the fathers my age that I know are better people because of it, and have richer lives. Maybe it's the community you miss out on because you're simply not included. Maybe it's that it possibly represents the product of a marriage going well, or the adoption of a deserving kid, and of course they are all deserving of a loving family. I really don't know. But maybe someday things will work out, with someone, and maybe we're lucky and have one, and adopt a few. I think I'd like that.

Have a great Father's Day. It's beautiful out there today.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Beta Signup

I've been working for quite a while on a new search concept, though the further in I get, the closer the rest of the world gets to what we're doing. So today I'm inviting you to sign up for the rather modest beta, which will be ready soon if we can nail down a few difficult  details. Jawaya is a way of navigating the web and getting better results. And that's as much as I can say right now, because we're not a funded startup, and things are moving really fast in this space--it's going to be very competitive. I predict there will be about 10 funded startups in the next 6 months doing something similar. One of them will be mine, and we aim to make it the best. We're raising a round of capital to fund the team, and are shooting for early sustainability. This is my fifth company; my fourth in the tech space, and my third software company. I think it will be the biggest and can possibly have a positive impact on the world by reducing the amount of time it takes

Where Innovation Happens

As I get closer to a go/no-go decision on a project, I've been thinking about the difference about my vision for the project and the supportive innovations to enable the core innovations The vision combines (in unequal parts) product, core innovation as I imagine it, the application of that core innovation, design, marketing,  developer ecosystem, and business development. The core innovation enables everything else, but it's the application of the innovation that makes it meaningful, useful, and in this case, fun. This week we're testing initial approaches to the implementation for our specific application, and that's where we'll develop the enabling innovations, which is basically where the rubber meets the road. The difference is that the enabling innovation happens at the source of real problems only encountered in the making of something, and in a project like this just getting the essence of it right isn't enough; it also has to be safe, the compone

Disqus Digests

This morning my phone dinged with a fresh notification--a new email! What oh what could it be?  I rush over to check while thinking "I need to unsubscribe to a lot of stuff so I get fewer non-urgent dinging notifications." Well shoot, that's disappointing. It's Disqus Digests, one of the biggest wastes of dopamine anticipation ever.  It simply sucks.  Disqus itself is great as a commenting system. I've been there since the beginning and have mostly enjoyed its evolution.  And then they did this interruptive, irrelevant email. Well why does it suck, you say.  Every one of these "Digests" sends a few comments from a blog conversation in which I've already participated. That means it's very, very likely that I've seen the comments before.  So I open the mail, see something I've already read, and curse Daniel and Company for enticing me into wasting my time, and cursing myself for falling for it.  So I unsub